March 6, 2010
Is it okay to ask one in a wheelchair what their disability is?
Aaron S asked:
There is a young man in a wheel chair in one of my college courses. He seems like a very nice independent kid and I am wondering if it is acceptable to ask him why he is in the wheel chair?
There is a young man in a wheel chair in one of my college courses. He seems like a very nice independent kid and I am wondering if it is acceptable to ask him why he is in the wheel chair?
I realize disabled people want to be treated the same as able bodies, so wouldn't it be acceptable for me to ask him? In the case of a disabled person, I feel like many people are embarrassed to ask handicapped people because they don't want to cause any offensive tension.
But at the same time, wouldn't you want people to care about you and accept your condition to make room for a normal friendship, rather than ignoring their condition to prevent what your mind is convinced could make for a 'bad scenario'?
So for all handicapped people, do you care if someone whom you vaguely know asks you about your condition?
For non handicapped people, what is your perspective?
Chair Lift Stairs
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Comments on Is it okay to ask one in a wheelchair what their disability is?
8:46 pm
Chair Lift Stairs
It shouldn't be important to you why they are in a chair. Obviously he can't walk.
2:26 pm
Chair Lift Stairs
I've thought to do it, but never have, because: unless the kid is your child, it just isn't right.
11:15 am
Chair Lift Stairs
I am not handicap, but I believe it would be really rude. If you wanted to actually showed you cared you should befriend him and then ask him later. Otherwise it's none of your business what he has.
11:40 pm
Chair Lift Stairs
my moms in a wheelchair she said she would rather people ask her why she is in a wheelchair then stare and wonder.. shes the greatest person i know if you met her you would love her because when ever someone meets her she makes them feel like she knew them forever.. all my friends love her and when there here they wanna hang out with her more then me lol so i think its ok too ask him im sure he wont mind…
11:51 pm
Chair Lift Stairs
I am also cursed by being intellectually and socially curious. I once asked a client of mine if he is in a wheelchair or ambulatory in his dreams. It was actually funny as hell because he told me about a dream where he came to a crosswalk without a wheelchair ramp and he had to get out of the chair, lift it to the street below and then get back in to wheel across the street. I always thought that meant that some part of his psyche refused to accept the disability. For whatever it's worth, my client was involved in a snowmobile accident as a kid.
If you're really interested in the person who happens to be in the chair, you may be able to establish a relationship in which it is safe to ask. If not, you may want to keep your curiosity to yourself.